MAYBE NOT QUITE THE BOTTOM, BUT...

Virtually all toileting issues, in children and into adulthood, are caused by the way we approach baby's elimination needs in the West. Parents put a special garment on a newborn baby, tell them it's OK to wet and soil it, then two to seven years later flip a switch and tell them they have to start performing their functions in the toilet. All the while, the newborn is aware, has control of and is trying to communicate her need to relieve herself somewhere other than her pants, but we in the West have been taught to ignore this particular message from our little ones.

Eventually, the baby learns Mom and Dad aren't going to meet this need and develops a sort of Stockholm Syndrome when it comes to wetting and dirtying her diaper. It's not pleasant, but it's preferable to letting Mommy and Daddy know I have to go, especially since I know my peeing and pooping is a bad thing because they always get my diaper changes over with as quickly as possible and act disgusted. In fact, when I have to poop, I'll only do as much as I have to, get Mommy to change me, do some more later, get Mom to change me again, and finish off my load still later.

Then, parents start toilet training this child.

Most parents mess up potty training by making the child use the toilet, even when she says she doesn't need to relieve herself. This causes children to not develop proper awareness of their elimination needs, to say nothing of the fact they don't gain any level of comfort with elimination being a normal part of life. This problem is only further aggravated when the child starts school and is hardly allowed to go to the bathroom during the day at all.

Therefore, all parents should practice elimination communication, to whatever degree fits their lifestyle. Elimination communication will teach your child to eliminate when they need to, make them comfortable with the act of going to the bathroom and eliminate health problems that can lead to toileting issues in the future, due to the fact constipation (meaning unexcreeted poop in the rectum) can press against the bladder or enter the urinary opening in girls, causing daytime accidents, bed-wetting, leaks, and of course urinary tract infections.

If you are not going to do elimination communication, then at least have an open attitude about bodily functions, from the birth of your child onward if possible. Talk to your baby about what they've done in their diaper. Don't always rush through diaper changes.

Likewise, take your baby into the bathroom with you. Talk about what you're doing in the toilet, by which I don't mean you need to provide graphic descriptions, but at least acknowledge the particular function you are performing or need to perform.

EARLY POTTY TRAINING ELIMINATION COMMUNICATION

This video is great, from an information standpoint as well as in other ways. Her frankness and openness, especially as a Christian girl, is quite refreshing.

She has a lot of other stuff, both on Youtube and other parts of the web that's worth looking at so check that out, too.

POTTY TALK IN CHRISTIAN MEDIA

First, let me preface this by telling you I didn’t grow up in the church.

However, the Christians (and unbelievers, but they don’t concern this post) I grew up around were rather prudish about everything that happened below the waist, and that included going to the bathroom. I also found this attitude in the Baptist church in which I wasted 14 years, from age 17 to 31 (although of course time is never truly wasted when one is in the Lord.) That’s why I find it noteworthy when ever there is a candid mention of diapering, toilet training or going to the bathroom in Christian media, music and literature being included in the term media. Below are the mentions I have encountered which I find noteworthy. Quotations are not exact as I’m doing this from memory and it’s obviously more trouble than good to find all the books, articles, etc.

In the children’s fiction series of books about Teddy Jo, Teddy Jo’s brother, Paul, has a problem with wetting his pants. I have never found going to the bathroom to feature at any kind of length in any other Christian fiction I have read.

In Ethel Barrett’s book, “Will The Real Phoney Please Stand Up”, she has a line that goes something like, “There you were with your stomach full and your diaper dry.”

I heard an interview with Shelly Lewben a couple years ago in which she said, “My first job for the Lord was changing poopy diapers.” This stuck with me not only because of Lewben’s candor but because she recognized that whatever we do, even changing a baby’s diaper, we do it to God’s service.

Around the same time I heard an interview with Cindy Bultema, a woman who’d written a book called “Red Hot Faith.” She mentioned that, at one time, she had three children in diapers. Again, it stuck out to me because it wasn’t something I’d heard Christian women bring up before.

A local Christian singer has a song about winter in which her young daughter says, “Mom, I have to pee.” After getting her snowsuit on. I remember an incident with some so-called Christian playmates of mine where a girl used the word “pee” and the others reacted to it as if she’d said a swear word.

An article from ten years ago about Christian youth organizations playing fast and loose with statistics compared the sloppy analysis to “saying that in ten years all children born this year will be wearing diapers because right now they all wear diapers.”

In one of his books, Frank Viola has a chapter on discipling new believers. He mentions one of the metaphorical tasks of bringing up baby Christians is to “change the diapers.”

Of course, the most famous example is probably the pants wetting story, which is used as an analogy about humility, service to others, or something. For those unfamiliar with this story, here goes:

A girl, ostensibly 10 years old, is going to a friend’s house after school to play. She has to use the bathroom before she leaves school but doesn’t because she figures she can make it to her friend’s house and use the bathroom there. As she and her friend continue on their journey, the girl’s need increases until, by the time they reach the friend’s house, the girl is desperate. To her horror, the door to the friend’s house is locked and the friend forgot her key at school. The two girls repair to the backyard where the friend proceeds to turn on the hose so they can play in the water on a nice warm day. The sight of the water gushing forth from the hose causes the girl to loose control and empty the full contents of her bladder into her pants. Noticing, the friend sprays the girl’s crotch with the hose, then sprays her crotch with the hose. When the friend’s father gets home, he believes both girls have merely gotten wet because of the water.

Though I admire the candour of this story, too, I do have a couple problems with this tale.

First, what about the smell? Spraying the friend might explain the wetness but you would still be able to smell the pee.

Second, what about the friend? Mightn’t she have made the same mistake as well, thinking she could go once she got in the house and not realizing she left her key until she reached her front door? Even if she went before she left school, might the friend not have to go again between the time she left school and the time the father returned from work?

Of notable exception to this up-tightness about bodily functions is the UK. I have been reading a lot more Christian literature from Britain in recent years and there seem to be more frequent mentions of things like changing diapers and the potty.