MOM ACCUSED OF EXCLUDING NINE YEAR OLD BOY FROM OUTINGS BECAUSE HE STILL CAN'T WIPE HIS BUM

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Mom Accused of 'Excluding' Local 9-Year-Old Boy from Outings Because He's 'Not Potty Trained': 'That Is Not My Responsibility'

A woman claims her son's 9-year-old friend "still needs an adult to wipe him after he poops"

By Angel Saunders  Published on July 5, 2025 02:00PM EDT

 

A mother is catching heat for not including a neighborhood kid in outings with her son’s friend group because the child requires assistance when using the bathroom.

 

“One of the kids in our neighborhood friend group is 9 and still needs an adult to wipe him after he poops. I don’t think that’s my responsibility, so I don’t include him in activities that take us far from his mom,” a user told her Reddit community in a Too Long, Didn’t Read [TLDR] summary of her post this week.

 

She asked others on the forum if she was in the wrong for purposely excluding the child from activities where his parents were not present.

 

“Now I’m being talked about for ‘excluding’ him,” the woman claims.

 

After her TLDR version, the user explained the situation in greater detail.

 

“I live in a close-knit neighborhood where the kids all play together, go to the same school, and bounce between our homes for meals, sleepovers, and activities. It’s a great dynamic most of the time,” she began.

 

“Again—he’s 9. I’m not here to judge his development, but I am saying this: that is not my responsibility, and I didn’t think it needed to be said out loud,” she added after saying his mother “still wipes him.”

 

The user claims the child avoids using the bathroom anytime he isn’t at home — no matter if he’s at school or with a friend in the neighborhood — and has “even had accidents trying to get back home.”

 

Describing herself as someone who’s “pretty active,” the user said it isn’t feasible “to be out in the middle of nowhere and have to wipe a 9-year-old kid’s butt” when hiking, golfing or at a beach.

 

“I don’t think that’s a normal expectation to place on anyone outside of his parents,” she explained.

 

“Recently, another parent vented that they had been wiping this kid, which shocked me. Then I hear that people are saying I’ve been excluding him—and yeah, I have, from situations where it’s absolutely unreasonable to expect me to step in for that kind of care,” the mom continued. “So, AITA for not including him in certain activities because I refuse to take on what I consider to be an inappropriate responsibility?”

 

Despite mixed emotions in their community, most Reddit users determined that the poster is not in the wrong.

 

The top comment read: “Do his parents not give a s--- about predators at all?! WHAT KIND OF MOM REQUIRES HER SON TO EXPOSE HIMSELF TO RANDOM PARENTS ?!?!  The only [acceptable] reason for that is medical necessity, in which case, he needs the appropriate assistance from an approved person. Not whoever he happens to be hanging out with's parents.”

 

While many others expressed similar concerns, one pointed out a different possible issue.

 

“This poor kid is going to experience a lot of exclusion and bullying if this keeps up. With him holding it through school, I'd contemplate calling this in to CPS. I KNOW it sounds extreme, but holding feces all day when you need to go does actual damage to the body - this boy is damaging himself by not pooping when he needs to because he still requires assistance at the age of 9. Pending any developmental issues, this is bad parenting and should be called out,” a commenter wrote.