A lot of the problems with stress incontinence in women go back to toilet training. Most parents mess up potty training by making the child go on a schedule, even when the child insists she doesn't need to pee. Thus, the child never develops proper awareness of when she needs to void, and into adulthood will not realize her body is sending her the signal, laugh, cough or whatever, and have an accident. Either that or she'll be aware of needing to pee but not be comfortable with urination as a part of her life. Thus, she will hold it, laugh, sneeze, or whatever, and have an accident.
As far as urge incontinence: Other parents mess up toilet training by insisting the child use the potty frequently _and telling the child that, if she has an accident, it will be horrifically embarrassing for the child and terribly inconvenient for the parent. Thus, the fear of wetting her pants is instilled and the child grows into a woman who gets seized by the urge to pee every half an hour, feeling like she's going to burst if she doesn't get to the bathroom and often not making it, all out of fear of not getting her bum on the toilet in time as opposed to an actual large quantity of urine in the bladder.
Stress and urge incontinence can show up in men for these reasons, too, but boys tend to learn how to relax and have fun with their stream, if you catch my drift, whereas girls are more likely to be taught to be ladylike and that urine only goes in a toilet.
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