Tuesday, June 27, 2017

MAYBE NOT QUITE THE BOTTOM, BUT...

Virtually all toileting issues, in children and into adulthood, are caused by the way we approach baby's elimination needs in the West. Parents put a special garment on a newborn baby, tell them it's OK to wet and soil it, then two to seven years later flip a switch and tell them they have to start performing their functions in the toilet. All the while, the newborn is aware, has control of and is trying to communicate her need to relieve herself soomewhere other than her pants, but we in the West have been taught to ignore this particular message from our little ones.

Eventually, the baby learns Mom and Dad aren't going to meet this need and develops a sort of Stockholm Syndrom when it comes to wetting and dirtying her diaper. It's not pleasant, but it's preferable to letting Mommy and Daddy know I have to go, especially since I know my peeing and pooping is a bad thing because they always get my diaper changes over with as quickly as possible and act disgusted. In fact, when I have to poop, I'll only do as much as I have to, get Mommy to change me, do some more later, get Mom to change me again, and finish off my load still later.

Then, parents start toilet training this child.

Most parents mess up potty training by making the child use the toilet, even when she says she doesn't need to relieve herself. This causes children to not develop proper awareness of their elimination needs, to say nothing of the fact they don't gain any level of comfort with elimination being a normal part of life. This problem is only further agrivated when the child starts school and is hardly allowed to go to the bathroom during the day at all.

Therefore, all parents should practice elimination communication, to whatever degree fits their lifestyle. Elimination communication will teach your child to eliminate when they need to, make them comfortable with the act of going to the bathroom and eliminate health problems that can lead to toileting issues in the future, due to the fact constepation (meaning unexcreted poop in the rectum) can press against the bladder or enter the urinary opening in girls, causing daytime accidents, bedwetting, leaks, and of course urinary tract infections.

If you are not going to do elimination communication, then at least have an open attitude about bodily functions, from the birth of your child onward if possible. Talk to your baby about what they've done in their diaper. Don't always rush through diaper changes..

Likewise, take your baby into the bathroom with you. Talk about what you're doing in the toilet, by which I don't mean you need to provide graphic descriptions, but at least acknowledge the particular function you are performing or need to perform.

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

SCREW YOU, STEVE HODGES

Another post motivated for a similar reason to yesterday's post.

Steve Hodges, author of "It's No Accident" clearly either has no clue or is willingly not disclosing the facts about elimination communication in his aforementioned book.

First, for the nine billionth time, elimination communication is not toilet training. It is responding to the natural, human need a baby attempts to communicate to her caregivers from birth, that is, the need to eliminate prompted by the desire not to wet or soil herself, i.e. use a diaper.

Elimination communication is not "nuts", but actually makes perfect sense and is actually the thing that will help prevent the childhood constepation Hodges says cause so many toileting issues in children. Through being made to poop and pee in a diaper, a baby learns elimination is a shameful, in the sense of evil, thing and will tend to only release as much poop into her diaper as she needs to at any given time. Incidentally, this is the reason for what Jamie Glowacki talks about, children having three poopy diapers in one day and then having one big poop a day during and after toilet training.

Also, think about what the baby is being asked to poop into. It's a small garment which severely restricts her stomach, legs and any other area covered by or near the diaper. Just imagine what trying to push a full load into a diaper would be like, even if you hadn't gotten the message that moving your bowels was a bad thing, the results of which must be dealt with using only the barest amount of acknowledgement.

Though of course diet is a factor, we see the above-mentioned reasons for early childhood constipation are much bigger factors.

Also, for only about the seven billionth time for repetition of this line, have XSteve Hodges or any of these other people who dismiss ec as nuts ever lived anyywhere in the huge percentage of the world that practices natural infant hygine or even bothered to do a proper amount of research on this subject.

As to some of Hodge's snide remarks: Firstly, toilet training is not a major life decision. It is simply deciding to put one's poop and pee in an acceptible place, one that is not one's pants. For the nine billionth and first time, elimination communication is simply responding to the signals the newborn or infant is using to tell her mother she has to relieve herself and would like very much not to do it in her pants.

Second, responding to this natural instinct can not at all be compared with a two year old running into traffic, as not wetting or soiling oneself is a primal instinct and traffic, not being a primal part of human existence, must be learned to be avoided.

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

JAMIE GLOWACKI-SOME CLARITY ABOUT ELIMINATION COMMUNICATION

In the last few days, I have been endeavouring to read all the books I have on elimination communication, toilet training, bedwetting, and daytime accidents. (Though that might sound like a lot of reading at first, it's only four books.) I'll write a post here with my thoughts on these issues after I've finished reading the four books, but in this post I'd like to give Jamie Glowacki (and parents or potential parents who practice about elimination communication) about some of the misconceptions Glowacki seems to have about this practice.

I should add that, though I do not have children, I have done lots of research about ec.

First, diaper free time. Diaper free time, is not, as Glowacki says, about using the floor as a new kind of diaper. ECing parents should be aware that diaper free time is used to help the parent tune into the baby's signals, and later to help the baby stay in tune with said signals and make pottying easier. When she pees on the floor, make the cue sound. Continue watching for signals she is going to pee and make the cue sound before she pees. Eventually, she will learn to use the cue sound to tell you she needs to relieve herself. The key word in ec is communication.

Second, elimination communication is not about using everything as a toilet. Parents use potties, improvised potties or allow the baby to reliefve herself outdoors because they are teaching the baby that those are acceptible places for the child to relieve herself. If parents practicing elimination communication are out, i.e. in places where it isn't acceptible to pee, they use a diaper as a backup or put the child in training pants or underwear. Incidentally, many eced children will soon develop the muscle control to hold it until they can get to an appropriate potty place.

Third, the _philosophy of ec is not about getting your child potty trained, or potty independent, earlier than all the other kids. This is often a consequence of the use of elimination communication, but it is not the goal. Again, the key word is communication. The goal is to communicate with your baby about her elimination, keeping her in touch with her awareness of her needs and aiding her in maintaining control over her bladder and bowels. If you are doing ec with the aforementioned wrong goal of being the first mom on the block to potty train, get that notion out of your head. I repeat, earlier potty independence may be a result, but your child is an individual and will do what he or she will.

Fourth, potty strikes can actually be a sign of potty independence. Ingrid Bauer says in her book her son started peeing on the floor again at two and wouldn't use his potty. After a while, Bauer figured out he wanted to use the regular toilet and the peeing on the floor problem was solved.

Besides, you are going to get more potty strikes as a Western parent because not everybody does elimination in North America, as opposed to most other countries where it is the norm.

Granted, the books on ec don't say much about graduation, which, from the little I've read about it, does look a lot like conventional potty training. However, this is still not potty training in the sense that elimination communication itself is not potty training. You aren't trying to get the child to do something she doesn't already know how to and want to do. Potty independence is just about, as with everything else elimination related you've done up to this point, how to communicate the idea of using the potty independently.

Additionally, though I will hasten to repeat early potty independence is not at all the goal of elimination communication, Glowacki does say some eced children are still not using the potty on their own at three years old. First of all, note that some is more than most, so this is a minority of eced children. Second, in such cases, there may be a food sensitivity or some other issue you haven't seen. Barring that, a lot of this minority of ecing parents are probably just doing it wrong and probably pressured their kids to be independent early, the very opposite of what elimination communication is all about.

Glowacki says she doesn't want an argument, but her condescending tone necissitates me giving her one anyway. She's probably never lived in a country where elimination communication is practiced. Otherwise she wouldn't say some of the things she's says. I don't see how elimination communication is any different from the conventional toilet training method she suggests in her book. Since its absolute garbage babies don't have awareness and control, all ecing parents are doing is what Glowacki suggests for the twenty to thirty month set, just earlier and over a longer period of time, and, using eec, you avoid a lot of the issues Glowacki brings up with her own method anyhow.