In the last few days, I have been endeavouring to read all the books I have on elimination communication, toilet training, bedwetting, and daytime accidents. (Though that might sound like a lot of reading at first, it's only four books.) I'll write a post here with my thoughts on these issues after I've finished reading the four books, but in this post I'd like to give Jamie Glowacki (and parents or potential parents who practice about elimination communication) about some of the misconceptions Glowacki seems to have about this practice.
I should add that, though I do not have children, I have done lots of research about ec.
First, diaper free time. Diaper free time, is not, as Glowacki says, about using the floor as a new kind of diaper. ECing parents should be aware that diaper free time is used to help the parent tune into the baby's signals, and later to help the baby stay in tune with said signals and make pottying easier. When she pees on the floor, make the cue sound. Continue watching for signals she is going to pee and make the cue sound before she pees. Eventually, she will learn to use the cue sound to tell you she needs to relieve herself. The key word in ec is communication.
Second, elimination communication is not about using everything as a toilet. Parents use potties, improvised potties or allow the baby to reliefve herself outdoors because they are teaching the baby that those are acceptible places for the child to relieve herself. If parents practicing elimination communication are out, i.e. in places where it isn't acceptible to pee, they use a diaper as a backup or put the child in training pants or underwear. Incidentally, many eced children will soon develop the muscle control to hold it until they can get to an appropriate potty place.
Third, the _philosophy of ec is not about getting your child potty trained, or potty independent, earlier than all the other kids. This is often a consequence of the use of elimination communication, but it is not the goal. Again, the key word is communication. The goal is to communicate with your baby about her elimination, keeping her in touch with her awareness of her needs and aiding her in maintaining control over her bladder and bowels. If you are doing ec with the aforementioned wrong goal of being the first mom on the block to potty train, get that notion out of your head. I repeat, earlier potty independence may be a result, but your child is an individual and will do what he or she will.
Fourth, potty strikes can actually be a sign of potty independence. Ingrid Bauer says in her book her son started peeing on the floor again at two and wouldn't use his potty. After a while, Bauer figured out he wanted to use the regular toilet and the peeing on the floor problem was solved.
Besides, you are going to get more potty strikes as a Western parent because not everybody does elimination in North America, as opposed to most other countries where it is the norm.
Granted, the books on ec don't say much about graduation, which, from the little I've read about it, does look a lot like conventional potty training. However, this is still not potty training in the sense that elimination communication itself is not potty training. You aren't trying to get the child to do something she doesn't already know how to and want to do. Potty independence is just about, as with everything else elimination related you've done up to this point, how to communicate the idea of using the potty independently.
Additionally, though I will hasten to repeat early potty independence is not at all the goal of elimination communication, Glowacki does say some eced children are still not using the potty on their own at three years old. First of all, note that some is more than most, so this is a minority of eced children. Second, in such cases, there may be a food sensitivity or some other issue you haven't seen. Barring that, a lot of this minority of ecing parents are probably just doing it wrong and probably pressured their kids to be independent early, the very opposite of what elimination communication is all about.
Glowacki says she doesn't want an argument, but her condescending tone necissitates me giving her one anyway. She's probably never lived in a country where elimination communication is practiced. Otherwise she wouldn't say some of the things she's says. I don't see how elimination communication is any different from the conventional toilet training method she suggests in her book. Since its absolute garbage babies don't have awareness and control, all ecing parents are doing is what Glowacki suggests for the twenty to thirty month set, just earlier and over a longer period of time, and, using eec, you avoid a lot of the issues Glowacki brings up with her own method anyhow.
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