Virtually all toileting issues, in children and into adulthood, are caused by the way we approach baby's elimination needs in the West. Parents put a special garment on a newborn baby, tell them it's OK to wet and soil it, then two to seven years later flip a switch and tell them they have to start performing their functions in the toilet. All the while, the newborn is aware, has control of and is trying to communicate her need to relieve herself somewhere other than her pants, but we in the West have been taught to ignore this particular message from our little ones.
Eventually, the baby learns Mom and Dad aren't going to meet this need and develops a sort of Stockholm Syndrome when it comes to wetting and dirtying her diaper. It's not pleasant, but it's preferable to letting Mommy and Daddy know I have to go, especially since I know my peeing and pooping is a bad thing because they always get my diaper changes over with as quickly as possible and act disgusted. In fact, when I have to poop, I'll only do as much as I have to, get Mommy to change me, do some more later, get Mom to change me again, and finish off my load still later.
Then, parents start toilet training this child.
Most parents mess up potty training by making the child use the toilet, even when she says she doesn't need to relieve herself. This causes children to not develop proper awareness of their elimination needs, to say nothing of the fact they don't gain any level of comfort with elimination being a normal part of life. This problem is only further aggravated when the child starts school and is hardly allowed to go to the bathroom during the day at all.
Therefore, all parents should practice elimination communication, to whatever degree fits their lifestyle. Elimination communication will teach your child to eliminate when they need to, make them comfortable with the act of going to the bathroom and eliminate health problems that can lead to toileting issues in the future, due to the fact constipation (meaning unexcreeted poop in the rectum) can press against the bladder or enter the urinary opening in girls, causing daytime accidents, bed-wetting, leaks, and of course urinary tract infections.
If you are not going to do elimination communication, then at least have an open attitude about bodily functions, from the birth of your child onward if possible. Talk to your baby about what they've done in their diaper. Don't always rush through diaper changes.
Likewise, take your baby into the bathroom with you. Talk about what you're doing in the toilet, by which I don't mean you need to provide graphic descriptions, but at least acknowledge the particular function you are performing or need to perform.
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